Sweet Mother of Innocent Eskimos

I was thinking today about animal liposuction. Wouldn’t that be crazy. You walk over to you’re neighbors house and you ask “Where’s Bill?”

And then his wife answers “He went to the vet to get the cat liposuctioned.”

Wouldn’t that just creep you out. I was also thinking about Paris Hilton and her stupid little chihuahu. I imagine she talks to it and says stuff about how she wishes she was as skinny as the dog. The dog is just sitting their thinking how much he hates her and how much of a fucking retard she is. I don’t know why I was thinking about this but I was.

Also what happens if I wrote about taking illegal immigrants over the border in my car (if I had one.) Would you have to call the police and say “Well I was reading this man’s blog and he said something about taking Cubans here on a boat.”

“What’s his name?”

“Ummmm, Bacony Goodness.”

That would be so bad ass if the name Bacony Goodness got put on a federal watch list. I would feel so good. My Dad is on one of those watch lists. Whenever we go to the airport he always gets searched extra. He used to always get strip searched but they stopped doing that to him. I personally think that everybody should leave except for Native Americans and stroodle makers. I like stroodle.

Just kidding because America would be a very boring place without immigrants. We wouldn’t have Chinese food, Mexican food,  Italian food, and Sushi (I like food.) Do you know what’s funny though. I like food a lot and eat a ton of it but never gain or lose weight. Strange huh?